man-bat cancer pill queen


January 6th, 2002

I have been having a number of interesting dreams as of late, but I haven’t been keeping very good track so some things are unclear.  By far the most interesting was the one in which I met up with KA [daughter of a family friend who went to my school in England and was two or three years younger than I].  She was older and hotter and we ended up having sex, or at least we started going at it, me on top her on the bottom, but I decided it wasn’t the best time or the best place cuz I had a dim notion that the McN kids were in the room, at the age they were at in Germany.  Kinda weird person to have that kind of dream about, makes me feel a ped but it is only a dream and anyway she was older than when I knew her.  It was one of the few sex dreams I’ve had that wasn’t weird or awful.  Anyway we ended up having to wander around looking for food, because, predictably enough, we were in an apocalyptic city ruin.  There was a food/supply pile next to a little river in one part of town that was where we were going to get food – I don’t know how the food got so concentrated in that area.  Then a gang came along, and we kinda backed off.  The premise of most of this dream was us wandering around trying to find a place to get it on, with the obligatory apocalypse and zombies.  It’s a recurring characteristic – almost as if Dawn of the Dead forever affected the way my subconscious mind works.  Scary.  I suspect KA was brought to mind by the fact that I saw her on a Christmas card and me remembering where all my old GB games went now that I have the GBA.  I would have much preferred it if something like this came out of randomness instead. [I had given all my Gameboy games to KA several years prior, when I thought I was growing out of them.]

Also in that dream: The queen of England was building a giant highway/super-racetrack through this bigass cave deep in the Earth’s crust.  I was a giant bat, or man-bat creature.  It was my turf.  So I attacked one of her generals in front of a huge crowd of people there for the opening.  This kinda segues into the next part of the dream – Inspired by The Invisibles I feel though HM did not notice any similarities when I told him about it.  I was part of an underground resistance team – a new recruit or trainee or whatever.  There was this other girl who was a trainee as well.  Somehow we traveled forwards in time and witnessed the death of our group’s leader.  When we got back, we didn’t even think about warning him – it was as if we thought it was more important to keep the time-line safe and any alternative didn’t occur to us.  Because we didn’t tell our leader, not only was he killed but also someone higher ranking than him, while we were on a mission that involved running across city rooftops at night being shot at from below and to the sides.

The final part of the dream – not sure if I mean that in terms of order or of what sticks out in my mind – was LT giving me a birthday card that said “Get Well Soon” on the inside with an aspirin taped on the inside with “Cancer Pill” written on it with a pen.  I didn’t get the joke and thought it was in poor taste anyway (considering B’s mom is dying of cancer – but come to think of it that’s not really relevant) but she thought it was funny.  I told JT about this in real life and she thought it was funny.

Anyway, I think the reason I had these cool dreams is a recession in masturbatory action.  I gotta stop, stopping obviously does better for my creative side.  Maybe my creative side needs more ways to output, since creativity is shunned at work and I stopped drawing or writing or working on personal projects for a while.  The trouble is, how do I stop myself from jerkin’ it?  I do it in my sleep without knowing, after all!?


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