Yakuza war, mad mortician, mummie-robot hitler, kung fu


This entry was originally pretty long, so I decided to split it in two.

Saturday, April 03, 2004 – Part One

I haven’t written in a while, partially because I lost this document. It was recovered to me by SA on this very day not twenty minutes ago, but alas is incomplete, probably not the most recent version that ever existed. Two Items below were left as notes of dreams to be described later but I didn’t. I have only a vague recollection of this dream which is better than a lot of my recollections of the above. Let me try to summarize, I might refine said summaries later.

“mortician and assistant, corporate war”

So in this dream I had the power to bring life to the dead, ie create zombies and skeletal warriors. I could summon them at any times by doing this sort of slow upwards-clawing motion with both my arms, arms shaking as if lifting a huge weight. Bodies would rise out of the ground no matter where I was, mostly decayed skeletons, and would attack my enemies. I was in the lobby of a huge Japanese corporate building, and there was a war going on in it between two corporations – business men in suits shooting at each other. Maybe they were Yakuza. Anyway I imagine that I was a hired mercenary. I probably got them to pay me in Japanese schoolgirls, my favorite Asian currency.

Additionally there was a story about me and some girl in a town that was abandoned/eaten, I guess we were lovers. There was a mad mortician and I think he unleashed some beast, or zombies or something, its really hard to tell but if the best theory is right, then I never actually saw it, just hints of it chasing us. The mortician worked in some barn or warehouse with chains and hooks and so on. I don’t know his purpose.

“cat – imbuing with intelligence”

I vaguely remember this one. I wanted to be able to communicate with M, WN’s cat, so I put my hand on his head and imbued him with intelligence. “I hereby imbue you with intelligence!” I think I said. I don’t know if he could talk afterward, I think maybe he just had an understanding.

There is a further dream that I found in a chat log with SA dating back to September 25 2003, quotaphrased (bastard offspring term of paraphrased and quoted):

I can’t remember the whole thing, but the end took place in a for-real war game with 11 year old fat kids in some screwed up mansion, with me opening my underwear to see my genitals and wondering “hmmm, these are all pointed wrong.” Then i realized it was because they were pointing the wrong direction – balls above penis. Then I realized that they weren’t attached – someone had cut them off!!! Then I realized that I indeed had a penis attached – they were someone else’s genitalia that someone cut off and put in my undies!!! Nast.

Here’s another one that I SWORE I wrote out in an older, lost version of this journal. Here it is again, probably in less detail, from a convie with SA on October 24 2003, quotaphrased:

on a giant spaceship, part of some sort of resistance movement
had to rescue some of our men held captive in this giant space station built from a hollowed meteor
the reason i say that is because it had to have been – i thought we were in a giant castle, then i came across a rock quarry and discovered that it was in fact a giant structure
anyway the ship was like a giant space city
i passed through parts that were ancient castle and parts that were office building interiors that looked like they were built in the 70’s and parts that were futuristic
uh i don’t feel like telling it with all the the details, but suffice it to say that i got to wield awesome super powers
the guy in command of this evil space dealie was this man with red hair and a cape who could throw balls of energy from his hands
and i found i could deflect them if i focused myself and motioned my arms in a certain way
so i could curve the path of his projectiles upwards to the ceiling
also some chick wanted me to beat her cuz she got off on it and i felt bad but also somehow satisfied

Here’s one from Sunday, October 26, 2003. I’m basically just combing through my MSN chat log with SA right now:

i had a dream i was part of an elite team of kids who had powers to fight evil swordsmen from outer space
i had the power to stretch my arms really long, like mr fantastic, except somehow my arms were robotic also i had claws and could climb on walls and ceilings
it was awesome

One from Saturday, February 07, 2004:

i had dream i worked at SA’s work
i guess they were changing location or something so i got a job there
but their new location was less than pleasant – it was all in one room, and our desks were little school desks where the chair is part of the desk like at [a highschool I attended]
also for some reason they made us sleep over – it was like a live-at job
i know i was about to score in my dream, but then suddenly i became aware of being asleep, which resulted in my becoming half awake – so the dream was more of an imagining, and ended

To BT on Wednesday, October 15, 2003:

i had a dream the other night that i killed an army of robots with a giant guitar and saved the human race
but just to be sure we blew up the building twice
once with an EMP bomb and then again with a real one
i just played the guitar and they fell apart into trash

To BT on Friday, March 19, 2003:

yo i had this awesome dream where i had fucking powers
sorry i mean to say this dude was pissing me off, so i was poking him with my fingers on pressure point kung fu like a machine gun in midair and then kicked him into the ground
it’s the first time i’ve had kung fu powers in a dream
i did some other shit but i forget
i’m pretty sure i had a hot girlfriend, like some sort of pouty white teen girl
oh! and i did this spin dive through a mall door cuz i was in a hurry to get my wallet
totally drilled right through it
fucking nuts man
i was born to know kung fu
how many movies must i watch before i can master it!?

The same dream described to AC in more elaborate detail:

i flipped out bigtime on this guy
he wanted to fight and i was like kungfuing his ass into the air, then i flew up and poked all his pressure points with machinegun speed and then spin kicked him into the ground
earlier i did this drill spin through a mall door just cuz i didn’t feel like pushing the handle, drilled right through it and send shards of metal and glass everywhere
i did it because i forgot my wallet in the cab and i wanted to buy lunch for this girl i liked

To AC on Sunday, July 06, 2003:

and it somehow involved james bond being in sweeden, where he was fighting some mummie-robot hitler had deployed
he ended up wrapping the gauze around a huge log and rolling it down a hill to unravel the mummie


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