open palm puncturing rail spike technique

Standard

I was a college student living in a basement. It was a very massive but cramped basement, unfinished cement walls and tonnes of room. The only reason I can think anyone would want to live there was that it was insanely cheap, because it was cold and extremely basementy in the worst possible way. There seemed to be a lot of rooms down there. There were plenty of people living there I was friends with, but others were high turnover rate people. Continue reading

genetically engineered, secret orgy

Standard

I was living in an underground science complex thing, probably inspired by the compounds in Oryx and Crake which I am reading. I had somehow involved myself in an orgy, with women I assume were sex professionals. One of them asked me to hold her arms back so she couldn’t move. Anyway the security forces bust through the door and berate the two other guys who instigated this situation. Not because anyone had broken a law, but because they had exposed me to risk. I got the impression that there was a secret they were all keeping fro me – that I was very important, some sort of being created for a specific important purpose, there was only one of me and I could not have my health risked in any way or all would be lost. Everyone knew this but it had to be kept from me.

breaking into the house the ninja turtles grew up in

Standard

It was the 80s. Turns out Ninja Turtles were real, and I and some others went urban exploring to discover the part of the sewer that they grew up in. Turns out it wasn’t even that sewery, it was a series of tile and concrete halls and rooms that were separated by stairways of maybe four or five steps. Sections were flooded, but rarely more than a few feet. Parts of it were dimly lit with sunlight. It was sealed off from other underground sections by thick upward-sliding electronic doors with a glass window in the centre. The turtles were nowhere to be seen; all we found were giant bloatflies that were pretty annoying.

arrowing some demons

Standard

I was in some sort of videogame that was part Tomb Raider and part Zelda. I was running down this structure that had been completely covered by vines and trees and things, as if it had been abandoned for thousands of years, being chased by boar-like creatures. I ended up jumping across a large gap and found myself in an indoor section with a sort of lowered ‘hall’ running down the big room lengthwise. I found a secret passage in this hall to a chamber that contained a chest. Inside was a bow. As soon as I acquired the bow, demons appeared outside the room. They could not fit in, so one paced up and down the length of the hall while the other snarled at me from the door. I fired arrows at him, which he didn’t seem to interested in dodging. He’s dead now.

my own name is a killing word

Standard

I was Paul Atreides (from Dune) sent to a compound on a dark rocky planet with a red sky. I arrived by convoy to find a crashed UFO within the walls of the compound, and little else but the main fortress building. It was like playing an RTS, and the map had all kinds of spider/silverfish units that would occasionally crawl into sight, and could move across vertical surfaces like cliff faces. I kept trying to build some defences but kept forgetting that I needed to build a refinery to fund this endeavour. Continue reading

communist vampires

Dracula is a spooky guy, but the capitalists fear him more. Let's feed our children to him for a greater Mother Russia!
Standard

Had a dream I was a vampire hunter, and I was part of a trio of people who was in the vampire hunting racket. We were tracking down some and figured this one Dracula-type spooky guy was headed into this random house in a city. In fact it resembled the house near High Park I used to live in. Anticipating all kinds of dark spooky stuff, wall to wall coffins stuffed with all kinds of sleeping monstrosities, plus spiderwebs, we spent a few moments outside to steel ourselves for the task at hand. While out there we met some superheroes who were in the middle of fighting some communists (it was the early 80s). I briefly thought of asking them to join us because one of them was either a robot or in some sort of metal armor, and the other had stretch powers, so I figured those would be useful abilities to use against vampires. I didn’t however because I figured we were just part of different scenes and would not mesh. Plus they would probably only be interested if it was communist vampires we were facing, and I had no idea what the political inclination of these bloodsuckers was. Continue reading

how not to home renovate

Standard

I had a dream the other night that I moved the toilet into my room. I had a reason but it escapes me. There was a party or some sort of festival going on inside our apartment, which had the feel of a place we just moved in. Anyway I took a dump in it and flushed it, and my worries about it overflowing ended up being completely unfounded… for the first flush. Then it overflowed on its own, and the entire dream was a struggle to sort the water out and protect my things as the room began to flood with all kinds of gross things on the solid-to-liquid spectrum. Of particular concern was when this foul stuff began touching my various power bars and sparks were shooting everywhere. The only thing worse than wading through a torrent of human waste is wading through an electrified torrent of human waste. Plus electricity + organic matter, I dunno somehow I think a gross golem or homunculus is going to come out of that.

It’s worth pointing out that I do actually have experience installing a toilet. A roommate of mine, N, once chose to flush the cap of a shaving cream bottle down the toilet rather than reach into the bowl to retrieve it. His solution to the inevitable clogging was to throw out the toilet and install a new one. Would it surprise you to learn that he’s actually an intelligent and practical person? Because he somehow is, in spite of highlights of his life like this.

hooking up in bathroom stall, slicing up punks with razor fingers

Standard

I was with a girl, a girl I recognized from IRL but maybe not. We were kissing. I remember paying extra attention to my lips and mouth to make sure I didn’t bite her tongue or that our teeth didn’t rub together. Cuz that shit’ll happen. Anyway I became aware that we were in a corner bathroom stall in a boy’s school washroom. I was a boy but also somehow an adult. We began having sex up against the divider wall. I became aware that sex was occurring in the stall next to ours as well. Sex fluids sloshed and oozed onto the floor – a sort of runny beige gravy-like stuff for the most part – and it grossed me out, but I kept going. I noticed that some kids outside were trying to fuck with us in some way, trying to pour the fluids onto us or into our stall from a bottle. I exited the stall and chased them away. They were mean little thugs though and kept harassing and attempting to attack me. I prevented their attacks by using my special power – to manifest slices across their skin by visualizing lines in the shape of the cut running between fingers on each hand as they approached. This startled them and they kept their distance, and didn’t attack me all at once. This was fortunate because manifesting these cuts took a lot of effort and focus, and wasn’t an exact science. They didn’t seem to figure it out, and their hesitance and fear kept them from succeeding.