Duke Nukem vs Sexy Robot Maid

Duke Nukem and a Maid Robot

I was on a mission. We were infiltrating a factory yard at night. The enemy had a secret underground base and we had to take some technology from them for intel while hiding the fact that it was taken. While searching the grounds for an entrance, we looked up to see a floating robot eye staring right down at us – a sort of black glass sphere with a metal back and antennae. I leapt up and grabbed it before it could phone home and report us, and ripped out it’s mechanical guts.

There was an element of the dream that was never fully clear, but I was not working towards the same goals as the rest of my team. I had my own secret agenda that might have gone against what they were trying to achieve.

I found a trap door leading to some sort of tube, and suddenly I was in a massive chamber filled with all kinds of curved tubes and coloured lights and platforms and machinery and multiple levels of walkways. My path down to the main floor area was through a bit metal ringed tube that had a opening spiralling around it. Trouble was, the whole place was filled with those hovering eye bots, they were travelling slowly along curved swaying paths through the air. There was some sort of order to it. There was also this loud chiming sound. At first I thought this meant they had spotted me, but it seemed to mean something else entirely unrelated to me, as it kept happening without any corresponding hubub.

Eventually one of the eyes came up the tube and I had to send it to robo-Valhalla just like I did with his brother.

Some other nonsense was happening and I was making my way through the halls of this complex. Much of the office area for the human staff was empty, but I did occasionally have to hide from men and other times have to pretend to be one of them.

I also met a nice lady robo-maid. She had a woman’s body and a robot’s head. We made sweet robo-love. It was robo-boneriffic.

So the whole complex was part of a plan to launch a rocket of some kind, presumably a doomsday weapon. I had confronted one of the masterminds behind the plot, a blue jumpsuited forty-something man with a strong build. He ran off and I got into a one-man flying saucer vehicle in the bases hangar and chased after him. On the surface I found my team who happened to be near where the rocket launching platform rose out of the ground. I fired my UFO laserbeams at it until it exploded, then jumped to the ground to fistfight the guy who ran from me.

My view switched to third person perspective when I was fistfighting him. This is where I realised that I was actually famed psychotically narcissistic misogynist action hero Duke Nukem. He was being rather uncharacteristically playful about this fist fight, didn’t really seem to be trying to kill the guy at all, even though he easily could have done so.


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